Watch Over
Me
Book Excerpt
" Caprice why don't you do something with your hair ?"her mother Joyce asked for what seemed like the millionth time. " You're a beautiful girl. Who would ever be able to tell. You walk around with it looking like a crows nest!"
I get so tired of hearing this same old argument from my mom,sister Tamia and even my boyfriend Donovan." Mom look,can we stop talking about this? It's my hair. No one has to like it but me and for the record, it is combed. Just because I don't wear a relaxer like you or Tamia doesn't mean my hair isn't clean, neat and styled." I said. “ I'm not a child. I don't need to have you watching over my grooming habits like I'm an eight year old."Caprice said growing well past annoyed.
" Look, watch your smart mouth young lady! Every since your father passed away all I seem to get is disrespect from you. All I'm trying to do is help you. I really think if you made a few small changes,Donovan would stop dragging his feet and ask you to marry him is all."
Leave it to my mother Joyce to stick the knife in...and turn it.
I got up from the table and starting taking dishes into the kitchen to wash. Maybe she'd get the hint and leave. After all,I couldn't just kick my mother out...could I? Caprice, I said to myself, you have got to stop putting yourself through this.
My mother and I have never been close. I know she loves me,but my sister Tamia and her have a special bond. One that I was never going to infiltrate no matter how hard I occasionally wanted to. Thankfully with age the longing to be in their special girls club had subsided drastically. I'm sure it helped they were clones of one another. Shoulder length bone straight relaxed hair,flawless cinnamon complexions and size six bodies. Even my mom at her age was great looking. She could give women half her age a good run for their money. I was just,well...me. Don't get me wrong,I'm attractive so I've been told. I'm just more understated than my mom and sister. Sometimes they just look overdone to me. You've seen the type I'm sure, what looked like ten pounds of makeup piled on in Texas heat. No thanks. I took more after my dad's side of the family. With their butterscotch toned complexions and naturally thick, curly hair. My mom and sister went out of their way to convince me I was obese when in all actuality, I was a healthy, fit size twelve. Unbeknownst to them I was very proud of it too! Granted I didn't always dress to show off my best assets, but who cares?I know they're there. It just seemed like everything Tamia did got my mothers instant approval, while I always came under scrutiny in my mothers eyes. Even more so since my father passed away. He was the one person I had on my side growing up.
Never mind the fact I was the one with a successful career as a museum curator with a specialty in African art at the largest museum in Houston,TX . My co-worker Noah and I had worked damn hard to get African art displayed there and it had been a huge success. Meanwhile my sister is back at home living with my mother... again in her childhood room. Tamia has it in her head that she's still waiting for her big modeling break. Don't get me wrong, I know times are changing and older models are being seen more. Though at what point do you say to yourself...I probably should get a job I can live on?
I swear my mother has groomed Tamia into thinking she'll never have to make anything of herself. Just wait around for a man to take care of her. When is she going to wake up? No sugar daddy has come along yet and Tamia is thirty-two!
"Well honey, I appreciate you asking me over for lunch. It was well...I guess it's an acquired taste. Next time you ask me over don't make it so spicy. Was that chicken? Anyway. I'm supposed to meet Tamia for shopping at two o'clock, so I'm going to head over to the Galleria. Are you sure you don't want to come along. Or would you rather stay home? I know you enjoy staying in." mom asked.
" I'm going to stay home mom. I have a lot of things I'd like to get done around here and Donovan will be over for dinner later. Thanks for asking." I said . Even though it hardly escaped me that she didn't really ask. She put it out there,then answered for me because she really didn't want me to go." By the way mom, the dish was called a "Paella" it's a Spanish recipe. Aren't you the one always saying try something different?" a feeling of warmth and satisfaction came over Caprice for standing up for herself,even for something as small as her cooking. She was a great cook. Even taking classes on various styles of cooking and international cuisine in her spare time. Her job often times took her to various parts of the world,so naturally Caprice soon fell in love with the variety of cuisine she'd been exposed to.
" Well Caprice,I'm getting older now. When Tamia cooks for me, she's considerate about my diet needs." Joyce hastily responded, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.
A feeling came over me I couldn't shake, that just kept telling me,”Don't let her get away with that!”
" Mom since when do you have " diet needs"? I went to the doctor with you last month. You have a clean bill of health. I recall the doctor even asking you if you had acid reflux and if so, did you want a prescription medication for it. You said no. Now all of a sudden you have diet needs?" I said.
"Well Caprice some dishes I just don't have a taste for!" Joyce said angrily, continuing towards the door.
When I heard the door close I couldn't help but feel well...bad. I'm twenty-eight years old,I have a career that I love. Six months ago I'd been able to purchase the home of my dreams on terms I could afford,thanks to the recession. Then there was Donovan. My boyfriend of the last six years. My mother always went out of her way pointing out the fact that, after all these years Donovan has yet to ask me to marry him. As if I wasn't painfully aware of that fact myself. Like I was oblivious to the fact that all around me everyone else was getting married and having kids. Don't get me wrong I loved my house,but in the back of my mind I'd secretly hoped it would be just the nudge Donovan needed to realize we should be progressing in our relationship. Donovan has a steady job as a warehouse supervisor at one of the largest food distributors in Houston. Granted our relationship didn't have any sparks but I just don't think that's what real solid love is about. Solid relationships have highs and lows. Besides we've been together six years. Sparks are for kids.
After six years of being together I think real love is about commitment,trust and stability. I completely trust Donovan. I just don't know what's taking him so long to ask me to marry him.
I've been in my,well what I'd hoped would be our new house six months and things are still the same. If I'm honest, things between us feel disconnected. We'll get back on track. Donovan and I always do.
Decision Time
" Lucas, you're late." Martin one of the group elders said." It's been three years and the one thing that hasn't changed between there and here, is our method of time! Why are you constantly late?" he said chastising Lucas in front of the group of three men who stood looking at him. All clearly exasperated with his tardiness.
" My sincerest apologies my friends. If it's any consolation, I've always been late. As you all are aware I'm sure, I was even late to my own funeral." Lucas said with a smile full of so much boyish charm the three older men couldn't help but laugh along.
" OK,OK, enough of that. Lucas," Martin said looking at him sternly " I know you're well aware of why we've called you here. Your time is winding down. You need to make a decision. You have exactly thirty days to decide if you'll go back. The last round of Vessels will become available in exactly thirty days. If you don't decide by the end of the month, you no longer have a choice." Martin said looking at Lucas with his eyes full of concern.
Jonah watched the exchange between the men and interjected." Lucas we realize the concerns you have about going back. Also keep in mind you're surrounded by love here and if there's nothing for you to go back for..don't. We just love you. None of us here today want you to regret missing your opportunity to go home. To live in whatever capacity life will be presented to you. In exactly thirty days you'll have no options. You'll be here for eternity." Jonah said looking at him pointedly. He'd seen so many young men and women miss the Life Option presented to them.
One year after death everyone was presented with what was called a Life Option, which was valid for exactly two years. Not a day longer. Year one was dedicated to acclimating the newly dead to the fact they were,well...dead. They were assigned a mentor who would show them the ropes,help them learn how to carefully manage their new powers and use them wisely. After one year you were presented with a chance to live again when a Vessel became available. A Vessel was really just a nice way to say someone who was living well,their time was up. Billions of the living already were predestined to be vessels for the dead.
Vessels basically got a second chance at life. If someone dead wanted to give it to you. So if you've ever had a brush with death,thank a dead person who decided to take the Vessel presented to them...you.
Everything in life and death is predetermined. You just don't know it until you die.
Everyone truly enjoyed Lucas,if he decided to go back he'd be missed. It was the Elders job to present nether-lings with the opportunity to do so. If they decided to stay and opt of the Life Option they then became guardians. When you're alive they make it sound so simple don't they? Angel,Devils,Ghosts. Bullshit. There is was more than that going on!
Lucas cleared his throat before speaking," I'd really like to thank all of you for the reminders. Please understand, I'm carefully considering all of my options. I just need you to understand that I feel like I need to have a driving force to go back." Lucas said looking at each of them." It's not a decision I'm taking lightly and I do realize I'm under serious time constraints. I appreciate your love and concern for me during the countdown period and I'll be in contact with you soon." Lucas before hugging each of the elders and leaving the room.
Six Years Wasted
" I'm not hungry." Donovan said the minute he walked in the door.
I was pissed. I tried not to show it though." Donovan you could have at least called me earlier and said you didn't want me to cook. I spent a lot of time putting together a nice dinner for us tonight." I said.
" What does it matter ? You like cooking. You were going to cook anyways." Donovan said walking past me without so much as a hug and going towards the family room.
Actually he was wrong. Dead wrong.
I'd already slaved over a stove preparing my mother a great lunch which she didn't appreciate and now the same treatment at dinner from him? These people are unbelievable!
My appetite was gone immediately. " OK Donovan. So what would you like to do? You're here. I've barely seen or spoken to you all week. Do you want to go see a movie or something? It's early enough for us to catch something I'm sure." I said. Things had been so touch and go with him lately. I really didn't want to argue.
"No. Actually I'm not going to be here long."
"What ? I thought you were staying tonight." I asked shocked,"What's going on here Donovan?"
I walked over to the couch and sat down next to him. " Caprice we've been doing this a long time."
"Doing this? What do you mean doing "this" you mean our six year relationship?" I asked bewildered.
" Yes Caprice. There really isn't any better way for me to say it than this. We're through. I've met someone else and I'm in love with her. Since I know you'll find out anyways, I need you to know I really love her and think she's the one for me. I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore.So please don't interfere.” Donovan said.
I felt like I'd literally had every breath in my body knocked out of me. Lucky for me I was already sitting down because I'd be on the floor. Over? She's the one for him ?
I couldn't catch my breath and started hyper-ventilating. “Oh god ! Caprice get a hold of yourself. I mean couldn't you feel a change in our relationship ? We had no spark. No passion!
She makes me feel like she's the woman I could come home to everyday. After six years aren't we more like brother and sister? Not to mention our sex life. You never wanted to try anything new. She's adventurous!" Donovan stated just as plainly as if he was stating what the weather was. No emotion or concern for my feelings at all.
I sat there heaving and gasping for breath when a calm feeling of control came over me and I could hear words of encouragement speaking to me from out of no where. I guess my inner voice was kicking into gear.
Take a deep breath. This asshole doesn't deserve even one of your tears. You deserve a man who adores you. A man who loves everything about you Caprice.
" Get the fuck out!" I screamed. " Don't you ever contact me ever again you sorry piece of shit. Hell no, I didn't want to go to a swingers club,or have a threesome and have another woman licking my pussy you bastard. Donovan you've never had enough dick or stamina to satisfy me,let alone bringing another woman into the equation! You and that whore deserve each other.” I said standing and pointing to the door," Get out!" I screamed like a mad woman.
" Oh come on Caprice. She's is not a whore! We just fell in love. I know I shouldn't have cheated on you but when you're in love it happens. One day I hope we'll all be like family." Donovan said calmly.
" Donovan get the hell out of my house you sorry son of a bitch! NOW,before I call the police!" I yelled.
" Well, umm, do you think I could wait here another thirty minutes? She doesn't have her own car and her cell phone is off. So she dropped me off and has my phone. Can I use the phone to call her?" Donovan asked...as if I really owed him a courtesy.
" No. Get out and meet your sorry bitch on the corner, where I'm sure you found her you dumb sonofabitch! You're a loser. I don't know what I ever saw in you! OUT!"
Once I locked the door, I slid to the floor and cried like a baby. Six years and this is what I get ? Some random bitch gets everything I've begged Donovan for the last two years of our relationship. Maybe my mom was right. I didn't do enough. I'm not pretty enough or slim enough. It's got to be true because after six years of totally loving Donovan, he's left me for someone who evidently can't even manage to have her own transportation or keep a cell phone on ? I thought to myself tears steaming down my face.
If These Walls could talk
Damn! I thought watching her huddled by her door crying her eyes out. Something about her just pulled at me. Tugged at my heart. If I'd actually still had one.
candace mumford,Interracial authors,interracial romance authors,interracial bwwm authors,interracial fiction, romance fiction,anc media publishing,fiction,drama,black women romance
Me
Book Excerpt
" Caprice why don't you do something with your hair ?"her mother Joyce asked for what seemed like the millionth time. " You're a beautiful girl. Who would ever be able to tell. You walk around with it looking like a crows nest!"
I get so tired of hearing this same old argument from my mom,sister Tamia and even my boyfriend Donovan." Mom look,can we stop talking about this? It's my hair. No one has to like it but me and for the record, it is combed. Just because I don't wear a relaxer like you or Tamia doesn't mean my hair isn't clean, neat and styled." I said. “ I'm not a child. I don't need to have you watching over my grooming habits like I'm an eight year old."Caprice said growing well past annoyed.
" Look, watch your smart mouth young lady! Every since your father passed away all I seem to get is disrespect from you. All I'm trying to do is help you. I really think if you made a few small changes,Donovan would stop dragging his feet and ask you to marry him is all."
Leave it to my mother Joyce to stick the knife in...and turn it.
I got up from the table and starting taking dishes into the kitchen to wash. Maybe she'd get the hint and leave. After all,I couldn't just kick my mother out...could I? Caprice, I said to myself, you have got to stop putting yourself through this.
My mother and I have never been close. I know she loves me,but my sister Tamia and her have a special bond. One that I was never going to infiltrate no matter how hard I occasionally wanted to. Thankfully with age the longing to be in their special girls club had subsided drastically. I'm sure it helped they were clones of one another. Shoulder length bone straight relaxed hair,flawless cinnamon complexions and size six bodies. Even my mom at her age was great looking. She could give women half her age a good run for their money. I was just,well...me. Don't get me wrong,I'm attractive so I've been told. I'm just more understated than my mom and sister. Sometimes they just look overdone to me. You've seen the type I'm sure, what looked like ten pounds of makeup piled on in Texas heat. No thanks. I took more after my dad's side of the family. With their butterscotch toned complexions and naturally thick, curly hair. My mom and sister went out of their way to convince me I was obese when in all actuality, I was a healthy, fit size twelve. Unbeknownst to them I was very proud of it too! Granted I didn't always dress to show off my best assets, but who cares?I know they're there. It just seemed like everything Tamia did got my mothers instant approval, while I always came under scrutiny in my mothers eyes. Even more so since my father passed away. He was the one person I had on my side growing up.
Never mind the fact I was the one with a successful career as a museum curator with a specialty in African art at the largest museum in Houston,TX . My co-worker Noah and I had worked damn hard to get African art displayed there and it had been a huge success. Meanwhile my sister is back at home living with my mother... again in her childhood room. Tamia has it in her head that she's still waiting for her big modeling break. Don't get me wrong, I know times are changing and older models are being seen more. Though at what point do you say to yourself...I probably should get a job I can live on?
I swear my mother has groomed Tamia into thinking she'll never have to make anything of herself. Just wait around for a man to take care of her. When is she going to wake up? No sugar daddy has come along yet and Tamia is thirty-two!
"Well honey, I appreciate you asking me over for lunch. It was well...I guess it's an acquired taste. Next time you ask me over don't make it so spicy. Was that chicken? Anyway. I'm supposed to meet Tamia for shopping at two o'clock, so I'm going to head over to the Galleria. Are you sure you don't want to come along. Or would you rather stay home? I know you enjoy staying in." mom asked.
" I'm going to stay home mom. I have a lot of things I'd like to get done around here and Donovan will be over for dinner later. Thanks for asking." I said . Even though it hardly escaped me that she didn't really ask. She put it out there,then answered for me because she really didn't want me to go." By the way mom, the dish was called a "Paella" it's a Spanish recipe. Aren't you the one always saying try something different?" a feeling of warmth and satisfaction came over Caprice for standing up for herself,even for something as small as her cooking. She was a great cook. Even taking classes on various styles of cooking and international cuisine in her spare time. Her job often times took her to various parts of the world,so naturally Caprice soon fell in love with the variety of cuisine she'd been exposed to.
" Well Caprice,I'm getting older now. When Tamia cooks for me, she's considerate about my diet needs." Joyce hastily responded, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.
A feeling came over me I couldn't shake, that just kept telling me,”Don't let her get away with that!”
" Mom since when do you have " diet needs"? I went to the doctor with you last month. You have a clean bill of health. I recall the doctor even asking you if you had acid reflux and if so, did you want a prescription medication for it. You said no. Now all of a sudden you have diet needs?" I said.
"Well Caprice some dishes I just don't have a taste for!" Joyce said angrily, continuing towards the door.
When I heard the door close I couldn't help but feel well...bad. I'm twenty-eight years old,I have a career that I love. Six months ago I'd been able to purchase the home of my dreams on terms I could afford,thanks to the recession. Then there was Donovan. My boyfriend of the last six years. My mother always went out of her way pointing out the fact that, after all these years Donovan has yet to ask me to marry him. As if I wasn't painfully aware of that fact myself. Like I was oblivious to the fact that all around me everyone else was getting married and having kids. Don't get me wrong I loved my house,but in the back of my mind I'd secretly hoped it would be just the nudge Donovan needed to realize we should be progressing in our relationship. Donovan has a steady job as a warehouse supervisor at one of the largest food distributors in Houston. Granted our relationship didn't have any sparks but I just don't think that's what real solid love is about. Solid relationships have highs and lows. Besides we've been together six years. Sparks are for kids.
After six years of being together I think real love is about commitment,trust and stability. I completely trust Donovan. I just don't know what's taking him so long to ask me to marry him.
I've been in my,well what I'd hoped would be our new house six months and things are still the same. If I'm honest, things between us feel disconnected. We'll get back on track. Donovan and I always do.
Decision Time
" Lucas, you're late." Martin one of the group elders said." It's been three years and the one thing that hasn't changed between there and here, is our method of time! Why are you constantly late?" he said chastising Lucas in front of the group of three men who stood looking at him. All clearly exasperated with his tardiness.
" My sincerest apologies my friends. If it's any consolation, I've always been late. As you all are aware I'm sure, I was even late to my own funeral." Lucas said with a smile full of so much boyish charm the three older men couldn't help but laugh along.
" OK,OK, enough of that. Lucas," Martin said looking at him sternly " I know you're well aware of why we've called you here. Your time is winding down. You need to make a decision. You have exactly thirty days to decide if you'll go back. The last round of Vessels will become available in exactly thirty days. If you don't decide by the end of the month, you no longer have a choice." Martin said looking at Lucas with his eyes full of concern.
Jonah watched the exchange between the men and interjected." Lucas we realize the concerns you have about going back. Also keep in mind you're surrounded by love here and if there's nothing for you to go back for..don't. We just love you. None of us here today want you to regret missing your opportunity to go home. To live in whatever capacity life will be presented to you. In exactly thirty days you'll have no options. You'll be here for eternity." Jonah said looking at him pointedly. He'd seen so many young men and women miss the Life Option presented to them.
One year after death everyone was presented with what was called a Life Option, which was valid for exactly two years. Not a day longer. Year one was dedicated to acclimating the newly dead to the fact they were,well...dead. They were assigned a mentor who would show them the ropes,help them learn how to carefully manage their new powers and use them wisely. After one year you were presented with a chance to live again when a Vessel became available. A Vessel was really just a nice way to say someone who was living well,their time was up. Billions of the living already were predestined to be vessels for the dead.
Vessels basically got a second chance at life. If someone dead wanted to give it to you. So if you've ever had a brush with death,thank a dead person who decided to take the Vessel presented to them...you.
Everything in life and death is predetermined. You just don't know it until you die.
Everyone truly enjoyed Lucas,if he decided to go back he'd be missed. It was the Elders job to present nether-lings with the opportunity to do so. If they decided to stay and opt of the Life Option they then became guardians. When you're alive they make it sound so simple don't they? Angel,Devils,Ghosts. Bullshit. There is was more than that going on!
Lucas cleared his throat before speaking," I'd really like to thank all of you for the reminders. Please understand, I'm carefully considering all of my options. I just need you to understand that I feel like I need to have a driving force to go back." Lucas said looking at each of them." It's not a decision I'm taking lightly and I do realize I'm under serious time constraints. I appreciate your love and concern for me during the countdown period and I'll be in contact with you soon." Lucas before hugging each of the elders and leaving the room.
Six Years Wasted
" I'm not hungry." Donovan said the minute he walked in the door.
I was pissed. I tried not to show it though." Donovan you could have at least called me earlier and said you didn't want me to cook. I spent a lot of time putting together a nice dinner for us tonight." I said.
" What does it matter ? You like cooking. You were going to cook anyways." Donovan said walking past me without so much as a hug and going towards the family room.
Actually he was wrong. Dead wrong.
I'd already slaved over a stove preparing my mother a great lunch which she didn't appreciate and now the same treatment at dinner from him? These people are unbelievable!
My appetite was gone immediately. " OK Donovan. So what would you like to do? You're here. I've barely seen or spoken to you all week. Do you want to go see a movie or something? It's early enough for us to catch something I'm sure." I said. Things had been so touch and go with him lately. I really didn't want to argue.
"No. Actually I'm not going to be here long."
"What ? I thought you were staying tonight." I asked shocked,"What's going on here Donovan?"
I walked over to the couch and sat down next to him. " Caprice we've been doing this a long time."
"Doing this? What do you mean doing "this" you mean our six year relationship?" I asked bewildered.
" Yes Caprice. There really isn't any better way for me to say it than this. We're through. I've met someone else and I'm in love with her. Since I know you'll find out anyways, I need you to know I really love her and think she's the one for me. I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore.So please don't interfere.” Donovan said.
I felt like I'd literally had every breath in my body knocked out of me. Lucky for me I was already sitting down because I'd be on the floor. Over? She's the one for him ?
I couldn't catch my breath and started hyper-ventilating. “Oh god ! Caprice get a hold of yourself. I mean couldn't you feel a change in our relationship ? We had no spark. No passion!
She makes me feel like she's the woman I could come home to everyday. After six years aren't we more like brother and sister? Not to mention our sex life. You never wanted to try anything new. She's adventurous!" Donovan stated just as plainly as if he was stating what the weather was. No emotion or concern for my feelings at all.
I sat there heaving and gasping for breath when a calm feeling of control came over me and I could hear words of encouragement speaking to me from out of no where. I guess my inner voice was kicking into gear.
Take a deep breath. This asshole doesn't deserve even one of your tears. You deserve a man who adores you. A man who loves everything about you Caprice.
" Get the fuck out!" I screamed. " Don't you ever contact me ever again you sorry piece of shit. Hell no, I didn't want to go to a swingers club,or have a threesome and have another woman licking my pussy you bastard. Donovan you've never had enough dick or stamina to satisfy me,let alone bringing another woman into the equation! You and that whore deserve each other.” I said standing and pointing to the door," Get out!" I screamed like a mad woman.
" Oh come on Caprice. She's is not a whore! We just fell in love. I know I shouldn't have cheated on you but when you're in love it happens. One day I hope we'll all be like family." Donovan said calmly.
" Donovan get the hell out of my house you sorry son of a bitch! NOW,before I call the police!" I yelled.
" Well, umm, do you think I could wait here another thirty minutes? She doesn't have her own car and her cell phone is off. So she dropped me off and has my phone. Can I use the phone to call her?" Donovan asked...as if I really owed him a courtesy.
" No. Get out and meet your sorry bitch on the corner, where I'm sure you found her you dumb sonofabitch! You're a loser. I don't know what I ever saw in you! OUT!"
Once I locked the door, I slid to the floor and cried like a baby. Six years and this is what I get ? Some random bitch gets everything I've begged Donovan for the last two years of our relationship. Maybe my mom was right. I didn't do enough. I'm not pretty enough or slim enough. It's got to be true because after six years of totally loving Donovan, he's left me for someone who evidently can't even manage to have her own transportation or keep a cell phone on ? I thought to myself tears steaming down my face.
If These Walls could talk
Damn! I thought watching her huddled by her door crying her eyes out. Something about her just pulled at me. Tugged at my heart. If I'd actually still had one.
candace mumford,Interracial authors,interracial romance authors,interracial bwwm authors,interracial fiction, romance fiction,anc media publishing,fiction,drama,black women romance
